When you first got married, you may have thought you knew your spouse, but over time, things changed. The fact is that people can only hide their true selves for so long before their real personality emerges. It may have been at that point that you realized your marriage would probably not last.
You may have done what you could to see if you could repair the relationship and get back the person you thought you married, but it didn’t happen. Now, you face the divorce process, and you may wonder just how contentious it could get.
Signs your divorce could become a battle
You may be part of the approximately 5% of couples who divorce that will not benefit from mediation or collaborative divorce. The thought of negotiating a settlement outside the courtroom could cause you a great deal of anxiety because your gut tells you it won’t work. If your spouse exhibits one or more of the following behaviors, you may be right:
- Your spouse complains about your behavior to everyone while defending his or her own behavior.
- He or she always has someone else to blame for everything.
- Your spouse can’t let go of the past, to the point where it keeps him or her from moving forward with life.
- His or her need to blame others manifests itself in physical, verbal, legal or financial attacks.
- Your spouse exhibits some or all of a personality disorder, such as narcissism.
- His or her emotions remain rigid and may be unmanageable.
- He or she is prone to extreme exhibitions of emotion.
- Your spouse sees the world as black and white with no gray.
If you recognize any of these behaviors in your future former spouse, you may want to begin preparing for a courtroom battle. Someone with these high-conflict personality traits will generally not leave the marriage quietly. He or she will more than likely attempt to use several strategies on you to get what he or she wants. It’s important for you to know that you do not have to agree or give in. You have rights, and the court is there to help you receive a fair and equitable settlement.
Another beneficial source of help is an experienced Arizona family law attorney. You can gain an understanding of your rights and legal options. You also gain a valuable advocate who will work diligently on your behalf.